• D.M. Magee

Dear Sports Rule Committees, GET OFF OUR LAWN

To whom it may concern (and it concerns the hell out of me),

For all that is forsaken and holy GET OFF MY SPORTS FAN LAWN RULE COMMITTEES! The newest head scratcher in the world of sports has the NCAA football committee discussing the possibility of a rule change that would allow a fair catch, made before the 25 on a kickoff, to result in a touchback (putting the ball on the 25). Well THANK YOU NCAA for ruining strategy and arguably the most exciting part of the game; the kickoff return.

Targeting rules in football have eliminated the big hit, outlawing hand checks made defense in the NBA obsolete and collisions at the plate and hard double plays gave way to ole tags and wide turns at second into the dugout with little effort. You wanna know why viewership is down? Too many rules and NOT enough action.

Americans waste plenty of time:

Netflix, bad cable shows, satellite channels that turn any mundane task into an hour-long how to tutorial and the dozens of airheads on talk shows like The View, proves Americans time is not valuable. They just want to be entertained. Stopping play and the continuous action that makes sports fun, is what has folks flipping channels. Not the length of time used, but the interest level.

The American sports fan is sick and tired of committees changing the game they grew up on. We all understand that safety has become a major concern, but taking all risk out of football is impossible and you might as well turn the game into a flag version with orange slices and participation trophies. Why not? Nobody is going to watch this new-era version of football anyways. There’s a reason why we don’t futbol over football, and a reason why we won’t watch this for much longer.

The best plays in sports history were pre-meddling. Pete Rose’s collision with Ray Fosse, Steve Atwater trucking Christian Okoye, Marvin Jones laying out the U and anything Kurt Rambiss or Kevin McHale ever did on the court. Ronnie Lott, Jack Lambert, Ty Cobb and Bill Laimbeer all made legendary careers from a style of play that has now been outlawed. All I can think now is that I was lucky to come along before the rule committees baby-proofed all of our sports. An area of our lives that was supposed to be off limits from the faint-of-heart. GET OFF MY SPORTS LAWN RULE COMMITTEES! I want gladiators back on the football field, quarterbacks to be fair game, hard nosed base running, inside pitches, plays at the plate, tough points in the paint, and kickoffs that make us hold our breath, not our shaking heads. Oh, and don’t even get me started on the fact that a catch is a catch and it never had to survive the ground, just the hit from a a TRULY free-safety!

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